(`````Sardar Jokes Collection`````)

[Silver_Knife]

Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'

[Silver_Knife]

Santa suffering from cold was shivering. His son called a doc.
Doc: wht happened?
Son: Bimari da ta pata nahun par baapu saver da VIBRATION mode te lagaya hai

[Silver_Knife]

While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole.
Banta: R u ok?
Santa: Yeah!
Banta: Did u break anything?
Santa: No, there's nothing down here

[Silver_Knife]

Santa goes to buy a underwear. On choosing one he asks: How much for this?
Shopkeeper: Rs 500
Santa: Arey bhai daily waer dikhaao, Party wear nahin chahiye.

[Silver_Knife]

Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.

[Silver_Knife]

Santa was standing in sun on a hot sunny day.
Banta asked: What are you doing?
Santa: Drying sweat

[Silver_Knife]

Santa was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered: Waiting for autumn.

[Silver_Knife]

Santa went to see a gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time, Santa asks: Behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho?
Girl: Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye.

[Silver_Knife]

Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai

[Silver_Knife]

Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else.

[Silver_Knife]

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out

[Silver_Knife]

Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.

[Silver_Knife]

Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!

[Silver_Knife]

Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!

[Silver_Knife]

Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.

[Silver_Knife]

Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform?

[Silver_Knife]

Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call.

[Silver_Knife]

Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.

[Tahir]

Santa goes to buy a underwear. On choosing one he asks: How much for this?
Shopkeeper: Rs 500
Santa: Arey bhai daily waer dikhaao, Party wear nahin chahiye.

Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.

Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else.




Hahahaha!

You! Rule :laughing: :laughing:

[Silver_Knife]

What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi

[Silver_Knife]

Hahahaha!

You! Rule :laughing: :laughing:


Thanks tahir:laughing:

[Rida]

lolzz
good jokes:laughing:
keep up the good work;):ok:

[Silver_Knife]

lolzz
good jokes:laughing:
keep up the good work;):ok:



Thanks for appreciation rida

[Silver_Knife]

Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long.....!

[Silver_Knife]

Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.

[Silver_Knife]

Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."

[Silver_Knife]

Nurse came out with the newborn kid, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing the kid he shouted, PUTTAR hua PUTTAR. She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool, It’s a gal

[Silver_Knife]

Santa: What's difference between man & Superman?
Pappu: Man wears underwear under the trouser & superman wears it over the trouser.

[Silver_Knife]

Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

[Silver_Knife]

Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.

[Silver_Knife]

Dress code 4 a party - BLACK TIES ONLY.
Banta goes for the party & is surprised to see that the other guests are wearing SUITS also!

[Silver_Knife]

A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...

[Silver_Knife]

Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.

[Silver_Knife]

Banta: Why is the Police nicknamed "The heart of the country"?
Santa: It beats, beats, beats....

[Silver_Knife]

Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon."

[Silver_Knife]

Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!

[Rida]

:lol:
good good:laughing:

[Silver_Knife]

Thanks rida:redface:

[Chocolate Girl]

nice.. but i have read many of them before..

[Silver_Knife]

nice.. but i have read many of them before..


Yeah.......But there is no collection on this forum

[Silver_Knife]

Jeeto: Kal raat tum mujhe neend mein tumne mujhe gaaliyan di
Santa: Tumhari galat fahami hai.
Jeeto: Kaisi galatfahami?
Santa: Yehi ki mein soya tha.

[Silver_Knife]

Banta: Wo ladki deaf lagti hai. Main kuch kehta hoon, woh kuch aur hi bolti hai.
Santa: Kaise?
Banta: Maine kaha I Luv U, to woh boli 'Maine kal hi Naye Sandal kharide hain'

[Silver_Knife]

An ATM's jammed & failed when operated by Santa. Why? B'coz he put a pin from his turban when asked: Enter ur Pin

[Silver_Knife]

Santa to a doc: Apne nurse bahut achchi rakhi hai, uska haath lagtey hi mein theek ho gaya.
Doc: Jaanta hoon, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.

[Silver_Knife]

Daku Mangal Singh Banta ke ghar mein ghusa aur bola: Sona kahan hai, jaldi bataao
Banta: Pura ghar khali hai malko, jithe marzi so jao!

[Silver_Knife]

A sweet girl goes to Banta's shop and said: Mujhe underwear dikhao.
Banta sharmate hue: Aaj pehan kar nahin aaya.

[Silver_Knife]

Teacher: Pappu, describe digestive system of a human being.
Pappu: Very simple, it starts with right hand & ends with left hand.

[Silver_Knife]

Santa: Tainu tairna aanda hai?
Banta: No
Santa: Tere naalon ta kutte changey ne jehre tair lende ne
Banta: Tenu tairna aanda hai?
Santa: Aaho
Banta: Pher tere te kutte ch ki farak hai?

[Silver_Knife]

Santa: Yaar meri aankhein dhang se nahin khulti, koi tarika batao.
Banta: Kisi din achanak apne ghar chale jaao.

[Silver_Knife]

I can kiss u without even touching u.
Gal: U can't
Santa: Lagi 10-10 ki
Gal: Ok
Santa kisses her lips
Gal: Touch kar liya, touch kar liya
Santa: Aah lai 10 Rs

[Silver_Knife]

Pappu: Bapu idhar aa...
Jeeto: Aise nahin bolte beta, daddy ko izzat se bulate hai.
Pappu: Bapu, izzat ke sath idhar aaja.

[Silver_Knife]

Jeeto: Sharam aani chahiye, tumhare Banta ki bibi ke saath sambandh hain.
Santa: Sorry, par tumhe kaise pata chala?
Jeeto: Kal Banta aaya tha, usne tumhara underwear pehna hua tha

[Silver_Knife]

Lady Secretary: Sir, it's ur wife's call. She wants to kiss on u the phone.
Santa: Take msg and give me later.

[Silver_Knife]

See what a spelling mistake can do...
Santa went to Goa. Sent SMS to his wife: Having a wonderful time, wish u were Her

[Silver_Knife]

Veeru: Basanti in kutton ke aage mat naachna.
Santa sitting with his dog in d theater. Saali naachegi kaise nahi, kutte ka bhi ticket liya hai

[Tahir]

:clap: really nice... Good work F_O_H :)

[Silver_Knife]

Thanks.... Tahir sahib

[Silver_Knife]

The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would
lose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight,
but he had a problem.

"What's the problem?" asked the doctor.

.

.

.

.

.


I'm 2400 kms from home.

[Silver_Knife]

Q: Why is the sardar standing at the doorway of the exam hall in this underpants?
A: Coz he is giving the 'entrance exam' where instructions are 'answer in brief'.

[Silver_Knife]

Do U know why a sardarni kept the door open while taking a bath?

- Because she was scared that someone might see through the “KEY HOLE”.

[Silver_Knife]

In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup

[Silver_Knife]

Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated... drank poison & said, Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!

[Silver_Knife]

Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado
Santa aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha

[Silver_Knife]

Santa visits bombay after many years. So he shouts-
"BOMBAY..BOMBAY..."air-hostess tells him -B- silent. So santa starts shouting- "ombay ombay

[Silver_Knife]

Sardarji got a new job:1st day he worked till eveing. Boss was happy&asked wat u did til eveng? sardar:keyboard alphabets not in right order,i made it correct.

[Silver_Knife]

how can u identify a sardar in class room
??try think......very simple
just see who is erasing notes
when teacher is erasing blackboard

[Silver_Knife]

What will a sardar do if he gets the following error

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Error 404

[Silver_Knife]

A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house... still he was in jail.......why? coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff

[Silver_Knife]

LAtest News
Santa is so rich he has made two swimming pools,
one of which is always empty? It's for people who can't swim!

[Silver_Knife]

MAN to santa: I got a BRAND new FORD iKON for my wife. santa:WOW! that's an UNBELIEVABLE & EXCELLENT EXCHANGE OFFER

[Silver_Knife]

Srdr: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.

Frnd: Y?

Srdr: Got upper berth.

Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged?

Srdr: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower
berth..

[Silver_Knife]

Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody
will b
there............. Girl goes at night & realy nobody
was there

[Silver_Knife]

2 sardars talking during diwali
1st: Jab phatake phut-te hain to Pahle light dikhai deti hai phir awaz, aisa kyon ?
2nd: Kyonki hamari aankhen aagey hai aur kaan piche

[Silver_Knife]

Sardar Apni Wife Ke Sath Coffee Shop Gaya, hot Coffee order Ki, Coffee

Atte Hi wife Se Bola Jaldi Jaldi pee. Wife Boli Kyu?

Sardar Bola Hot coffe Rs. 5 and Cold Coffee Rs. 10.00

[Silver_Knife]

Sardarji went to party and introduced his family to his friends.

I am Sardar and this is sardarney,

this is my kid and this is my kidney.

[Silver_Knife]

Why does sardarji open his lunch box while Walking on the road?

To Check if he is going to work or Coming Back.

[Silver_Knife]

Aik Sardaar zebra Crossing ke white aur black patte par baar baar idher aue udher chal raha tha........ us ke aik dost ne pucha ye kya kar rahey ho to us ne kaha..... Yaar pichhley 5 dinu se try kar raha hun yeh PIANO bajta he nahi hai

[Silver_Knife]

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.

Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.

Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.

It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE

[Silver_Knife]

sent it to her husband by parcel post along with a note. The note said : ' The buttons of the sweater are removed since they where too heavy and added to the postage . You will find them in the right hand pocket of the sweater .

[Silver_Knife]

Once sardars made a space shuttle. someone came and asked wats it supposed to do dardar said " yes suraj (sun) par jaye gi". The person said that " the sun is too hot everything will melt" and guess wat the sardar said " oyee tu iss may kia problem hay mai raat (night) may chalaa jaaon gaa"

[Silver_Knife]

Sardar Ji enter a bus and buys two tickets. A guy next to him asks, sardar ji why two tickets? what if one is lost, replied sardar ji. well, what if you lost the other one? asked the guy. you think I'm stupid, right? I have a season pass, sardar ji

[Silver_Knife]

Sardar writing to his nephew:

Dear surbjit singh,
I am writing this slowly because I know you can not read fast. We have moved last week. I have brought our old address plate so we don't have to change our address. Weather is good here, it has been raining for last three days of the week and I havn't been out in last 4 days.
I would have sent you money but I've already closed the envelope.
Take care,

your uncle,
_________________

[Silver_Knife]

Once a sardar calls his friend and said:
"KI HAL HAI PAA JI MAIN BOL REYA WAAN"
His friend replied:
"OYEE KIDI MAZEY DI GAL HAI , ITHAI VI MAIN HI BOL REYA WAAN

[Silver_Knife]

Two Sardars went into a pub and after ordering two beers took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them.

"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here," complained the pub-owner.

So the two sardars swapped (exchanged) their sandwiches.

[Silver_Knife]

Sardarji calls Air India.
"How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up

[Silver_Knife]

Sardar at an art gallery "I suppose this horrible looking thing is
what you call a modern Art?"

Art Dealer "I beg your pardon sir. Thats a mirror!"

[Silver_Knife]

A Sardar enters shop & shouts, "Where's my free gift with this oil?"

Shopkeeper: "ISke Saath koi gift nahin hai bhaisaab"

Sard : "Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE

[Silver_Knife]

Sardar on cycle hit lady accidently, lady says," break nahi mar sakta tha kya? Sardar replies "break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar di....."

[Silver_Knife]

Sardar Found The Answer To The Million Dollar Question.
What Will Come First? Murgi Ya Anda?
Stupid Jiska Order Pehle Doge Wo Pehle Ayega...

[Silver_Knife]

According To Sardars Moon Is More Important
Coz It Gives Light @ Night When Light Is Not Needed
And Sun Gives During The Day When Light Is Not Needed...

[Silver_Knife]

According To Sardars Moon Is More Important
Coz It Gives Light @ Night When Light Is Not Needed
And Sun Gives During The Day When Light Is Not Needed